He flinched at that, and I did not soften it, because it was true, and he needed to hear it true.

There is a kindness in softening hard things and there is a cowardice in it too, and I had spent two years unable to tell the two apart, which is how you end up soft all the way through and holding everyone’s bill.

You keep saying I make good money, I went on, because that was his defense, that was the thing he kept reaching for, that it didn’t hurt me, that I could afford it, that paying for everyone cost me nothing.

It cost me plenty, I told him, it just didn’t cost me money.