Nine seconds at a graduation, and the three hours either side of them, which my son does not have and will not get.

Five hundred and thirty-two thousand dollars that my mother spent and cannot repay, most of it on a cleaner and a golf membership and three firms of solicitors, and a house she owned outright at eighty-three and does not own now.

And Jolene, who will be sixty-eight and still garnished.

And the one that I did not see coming and that is the actual injury:

I cannot refuse anything gracefully any more.