She crossed to the bed and sat down heavily on the bare mattress, and in that moment she looked smaller and older than I had ever seen her, folded in on herself with embarrassment.

“Oh dear,” she murmured, pressing one hand flat against her chest.

“Oh dear?” I repeated, my voice cracking with disbelief.

“Jacqueline, you left dozens of hidden bags under our mattress.

That is a great deal more than an oh dear.” She pressed her fingertips against her lips, and then she asked me a question that I found, in the moment, absolutely chilling, and would find, about four minutes later, absolutely hilarious.

In the moment, her question, did you open any of the bags, landed on me like a confirmation of my worst fears.