It was the relief of a woman who has just learned that her hobby has not, after all, ruined her daughter-in-law’s carpet.

The very same words can mean two completely opposite things depending on the story you have already decided you are inside, and I was so deep inside the wrong story that I heard a guilty conscience in what was really just a tidy one.

“Brenda, sweetie,” she said carefully.

“Did you open any of the bags?” “No,” I said.

“No, I did not open them!” And Jacqueline exhaled, a long, shaky, whole-body exhale of relief, her shoulders dropping a full inch.

“Oh, thank God,” she breathed.