And on that Monday morning at ten past eight I understood something that took the top off my head, and it is the thing I went into that parking structure knowing and came out of it having named.

Everything I had built that wall out of was my conduct.

I had controlled what I did.

I had never once controlled what he said I was.

Because I had just learned, over thirty-six hours, that my husband was a man who would sign a sworn application to a county clerk stating that he had been divorced since 2019, twice, in order to get something he wanted.

And if he would do that to a clerk in St.