I had access to a chief executive six days a week and I did not take it to her.

I have asked myself why about four hundred times, and the answer is small and human and unflattering: I had used up something asking about the formulary.

I had gone to her once, as a new hire, about a drug, and she had fixed it, and I had banked the goodwill and I did not want to spend it again.

That is what proximity to power actually does to a person.