The Night Before I Gave Birth, I Heard My Husband Pay a Doctor to Make Sure I Never Left the Delivery Room. He Thought I Was Asleep

I understood evidence.

I understood chain of custody.

I understood the difference between knowing a thing and being able to prove it in a courtroom.

And I understood, lying in that bed, one thing above all the others: that when someone is actively planning your murder, a breakdown is a luxury you cannot afford.

This is the part I most want other women to hear, if this account ever reaches any of them: he did not underestimate me because I was, in fact, weak.

He underestimated me because I had let him.