And Great Aunt Florence, who is seventy-eight years old, drove seven hours from San Diego, because a neighbor told her what her own family would not.

Do not stand on my porch and tell me this tragedy hurt you.

Grief is not a thing you can claim after the fact, once you learn there is money attached to it.

Grief is paid in the currency of presence, of showing up, of the small unbearable labors of loss, and you paid none of it.

You were not there for the tragedy.

You were at a steakhouse, and three days later you texted me about a birthday.”