My mum was in Nigeria and my sister couldn’t get off work.

And a man came out of an office and stood on my side for eleven minutes.”

She paused for a bit.

And then she said: “I have thought about that man perhaps four times in twenty-one years.

Four times.

And every single time it was a good thought, and I never once wondered what he was called.”

Her certificate is in a box in her basement.

She went and got it while I was on the telephone and it took her nine minutes and I could hear her moving things.