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Leave Mine Exactly As It Is

There’s no debt left between us.

We’re even.

That’s not me being cruel.

That’s just the balance, finally, reading zero.”

“You’re cold,” my mother whispered, staring at me as though I had transformed into a stranger.

“You’re a heartless, selfish girl.”

“No, Mom.” I felt myself smile, and it was not a cruel smile; it was almost peaceful.

“I’m just a woman who finally read her own bank statement and understood she’d been paying, for thirty-three years, for a life she was never actually allowed to live.

Goodnight.”

There was a moment, just before I closed the door, when I looked at the two of them standing in that hallway — my father hollowed out, my mother’s face streaked and pleading — and I felt something I had not expected to feel, which was a kind of distant, clean sadness.

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