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The Cup I Didn’t Drink

If a stranger ever approached me about her past, she said, I was to walk away and keep walking.

I had thought it was the illness talking.

I understood now that it had been the clearest thing she ever said to me — a warning, thrown forward across her own death, to a daughter she was terrified the past would someday come for.

It had come.

It had come through my own kitchen, through a woman I’d called family, into a cup I drank every morning.

I sat with that memory for a long time in the station, turning it over, and the more I looked at it the more it reorganized my entire understanding of my mother.

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