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The Cup I Didn’t Drink

For ten years, the first thing that happened to me every single morning was that a person I loved handed me a warm cup and I drank from it, and that cup was harming me the whole time, and I did not know.

When you learn something like that, it does not stay contained to the cup.

It spreads.

For a while after, I could not accept a glass of water from anyone without a flicker of the question.

I could not fully trust food I hadn’t watched being made.

The poisoning had taught my body a lesson underneath my conscious mind — that the hand that feeds you is the hand to fear — and un-teaching it was slow, deliberate work.

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