And in all those months, in all that silence, not one member of my family ever asked me what any of it was like.

Not once.

They never asked what I needed.

They only, eventually, asked for something.

Chapter 7 — The Headline

Then, on a cold Tuesday in January, six months after I stood between those three caskets, my name appeared in a headline.

Widow of I-95 Crash Victims Awarded $18.7 Million in Settlement; Announces Child Safety Foundation. I read it in the gray morning light at my kitchen table, and I felt almost nothing, because I already knew what the money was and what it was not.

It could not buy back one ordinary Tuesday morning with my husband.