But it told me she had become, in her seventies, capable of a kind of honesty she had avoided her whole life, and that was worth more to me than the fixing would have been — because the fixing would have restored the past, and the honesty, at least, made a different future possible.

Chapter 19 — Audrey

Two months later my daughter was born, healthy and strong, at the base hospital, and I gave her Tristan’s mother’s name for her own middle name: Audrey.

My mother was eventually granted permission to visit her granddaughter, but under clear, non-negotiable rules, set in writing.

No surprise visits.

No questions about my assignments.

No criticism of how I chose to mourn.

No acting as a go-between for my father or my sister.